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Now for something completely different.

Posted by: brettj
Date posted: Sun Aug 1 14:13:02 PDT 1999

Maybe these words of wisdom will lighten the mood around here. We should try not to sink to levels that are beneath us. Remember the golden rule and cherish the source. (:

God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

I started out with nothing; I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?