|1.||The method of inverse geometry: We place a spherical cage in the
desert and enter it. We then perform an inverse operation with
respect to the cage. The lion is then inside the cage and we are
|2.||The set theoretic method: We observe that the desert is a
separable space. It therefore contains an enumerable dense set of
points from which can be extracted a sequence having the lion as
the limit. We then approach the lion stealthily along this
sequence bearing with us suitable equipment.
|3.||The Dirac method: We observe that wild lions are ipso facto not
observable in the Sahara desert. Consequently if there are any
lions in the Sahara, they are tame. The capture of a tame lion is
left as an exercise for the reader.
|4.||The thermodynamic method: We construct a semi-permeable membrane
which is permeable to everything except lions and sweep it across
|5.||The Kalra method: Make a list of the lion's whereabouts. Classify
them into different fuzzy sets. The lion will get confused and
fall into your trap.
|6.||Topological method: We observe that the lion has at least the
connectivity of the torus. We transport the desert into
four-space. It is then possible to carry out such a transformation
that the lion can be returned to 3-space in a knotted condition.
He is then helpless.
|7.|| The Schrodinger method: At any given moment there is a positive
probability that there is a lion in the cage. Sit down and wait.
|8.|| The Heisenberg method: You will disturb the lion when you observe
it before capturing. So keep your eyes closed.
|9.|| The Einstein method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the
lion. The relative velocity makes the lion run faster and hence he
feels heavier and gets tired.
|10.|| The Newtonian method: Let the lion catch you (let's assume you
remain alive here). For every action there is an equal and
opposite reaction. Therefore, you would have captured the lion.
|11.|| The cartesian method: Take the origin as close as possible to the
lion. Then perform rotation operation again and again. Initially,
the lion will feel dizzy. Finally it will fall down.
|12.|| The software method: Make a linked list of all objects in the
desert. Then delete the pointers on either side of the lion. (Make
sure you are not AFTER the lion.)
|13.|| The automata method: Use a Non-Deterministic Finite Automaton with
epsilon moves from all states to the final state, and no moves
from the final state. The lion will soon enter the final state and
|14.|| The time-cop method: Use a time-machine and take the entire Sahara
back a few years in time. The lion is just a cub now, and all you
need is a mouse-trap.
|15.|| The integro-differential method: Integrate the Sahara over its
entire surface. The lion is now somewhere in the result.
Differentiate the result w.r.t. the earth's rotation. The
resulting value is zero, and the lion is no more.
|16.|| The Shakespeare method: Hold the lion still for a moment (I don't
care how you do it), and recite Shakespeare`s Hamlet to it. The
lion will change from 'To be to Not-to-be'.